What is Existential Anxiety?
It can be useful to look at our experiences from different perspectives. It is always good to remember that different perspectives are not absolute truths but remain open to what lands for you. With that in mind, let’s take a look at one perspective on anxiety that puts it in a normalized, universal context.
Existential anxiety arises from facing the existential givens that are true for all humans. These givens are commonly described as four major themes:
- Death. It is inevitable. A final completion. A ceasing to be. The physical experience of it, the nothingness, regrets, or the ending of our endeavors can all create anxiety.
- Isolation. We can never fully know and be known due to each of us having our own subjective experiences of self and others. It is a universal separation. Ultimately, we are all born, suffer, and die alone.
- Freedom & Responsibility. These two are inseparable. We all want freedom—until we have it. With freedom comes responsibility, infinite choices, and the weight of those choices. This can be overwhelming, leading us to outsource our responsibility and, consequently, our freedom.
- Meaning. Is there an absolute meaning to life? If not, where do we find it? We generally revise our sources of meaning as we grow and get older. What personal meaning does life hold for you? What will make life and suffering feel worth it? How do we make sense of our complex experiences—suffering, chaos, and violence?
How Existential Anxiety Shows Up in Everyday Life
Sometimes this anxiety is conscious, but most of the time it gets funneled into something smaller and more “manageable” as a defense against the real thing. Does this account for 100% of our experience with anxiety and fear, probably not, but I think it’s likely a contributor for most of us.
Our reactions to existential anxiety can cause a range of mental, emotional, and even physical symptoms.
For example:
• Fear of death may funnel into a fear of heights or other phobias, nonspecific panic attacks, hypochondriasis, fear of darkness, or romanticizing adolescence and nostalgia.
• Fear of isolation may keep us stuck in dysfunctional or toxic relationships. It can also show up as social anxiety, fear of being judged, people-pleasing, or perfectionism.
• Fear of freedom and responsibility may look like difficulty with “adulting,” always looking for someone or something to blame, or a pervasive helplessness and constant complaining without seeking resolution.
• Fear of meaninglessness can lead to shutting down—thinking nothing matters, failing ahead of time, or never trying. On the flip side, it can manifest as outsourcing meaning to systems and institutions (like organized religion or political ideologies).
The Added Layer of Personal and Ancestral History
Existential anxiety becomes even more complex when we consider the personal and ancestral histories we carry in relation to these themes.
Early life experiences—neglect, the death of loved ones, or abuses of power—can shape how we engage with these givens and amplify our symptoms. These experiences can also significantly impact our ability to even consider these existential themes without fear.
Additionally, our ancestral histories are woven into our own. Unresolved tragedies—sudden deaths, social exclusion, blame, and difficulty making sense of accidents, violence, or madness—further complicate our relationship with freedom, meaning, and connection. These inherited burdens can manifest in our bodies and emotional responses without us even realizing it.
Major life transitions—such as mid-life, career or education changes, becoming a parent, children leaving home, or facing aging—can bring these existential themes to the forefront.
These transitions often force us to confront questions we may have previously avoided, such as:
Am I really living the life I want? What does it all mean? What’s next for me?
While bringing these themes to the surface can temporarily heighten anxiety and discomfort, it’s a crucial step in moving from avoidance to engagement. By unraveling these inherited and personal threads, we can increase our capacity to explore these existential givens with greater self-awareness and intention.
The Benefit of Facing Existential Anxiety
While existential anxiety can feel overwhelming, it also carries a hidden gift—it reveals where meaning and satisfaction may be lacking in our lives and invites us to take steps toward a more fulfilling existence. Instead of something to suppress or escape, it can serve as a powerful motivator—an opportunity to reflect on what truly matters and align our lives with our values and aspirations.
When we stop avoiding existential anxiety and face it head-on, we open the door to deeper understanding and growth. In confronting fears about death, isolation, and meaninglessness, we often uncover a renewed motivation to engage more fully with life.
Facing existential anxiety allows us to:
• Clarify Our Values. Anxiety often points us to the areas of life that need our attention. When we lean into it, we gain a clearer understanding of what’s truly important and where our energy should go.
• Take Meaningful Action. Rather than staying stuck in avoidance, acknowledging our anxiety can propel us into action—helping us take intentional steps toward the life we want.
• Cultivate Authenticity. By exploring our fears around freedom, responsibility, and purpose, we begin to live with more honesty and integrity, shedding societal expectations or inherited patterns that no longer serve us.
• Ease Emotional and Physical Burdens. Recognizing existential anxiety for what it is allows us to approach it with curiosity rather than fear, reducing the mental, emotional, and physical weight that avoidance can create.
Ultimately, existential anxiety can be a doorway to living more fully—guiding us toward greater self-awareness, deeper connections, and a sense of purpose that feels truly our own.
Taking the Next Step: Reflection and Action
It’s been a useful exercise for me to take my own persistent thoughts or resistances and run them through these themes.
For example, is my tendency to start writing a million things but never wanting to go back to them and clean them up related to a fear of completion? A fear of endings and feeling disappointed with the outcome? Is it a mix of death and meaninglessness? Or did I just spend too much time in academia editing the hell out of everything? Probably a bit of both.
If it’s related to existential fear, when I look at these deeper themes and sit with what comes up, how does that change my experience? Does it open up new possibilities? Does it create more stress in my body, or do I feel a settling in the accurate reflection of these deeper concerns?
I’m not trying to fix the existential givens or make them go away. I’m simply acknowledging them and being curious about my responses.
I have found it easier to go back and edit to completion when I acknowledge that there is something disappointing in a “complete” article or writing project. It kind of takes the power of that disappointment away. Of course it’s disappointing. Of course I’m worried about that final disappointment. But maybe it takes me closer to satisfaction to do it anyway. Something to play with at least.
The beautiful thing is—whatever comes up, whether increased anxiety or relief, it can be explored.
What might shift if you approach your anxiety with curiosity around existential givens?
Take a moment to reflect:
What recurring thoughts, anxieties, or behaviors in your life might actually be pointing toward something deeper?
Which existential themes resonate with you the most?
By exploring these themes with curiosity rather than resistance, you might just find yourself stepping into a richer, more meaningful way of being.
Through the Shadowlands: A Path to Clarity and Self-Leadership
If you’re ready to explore these deeper themes and untangle the patterns that have been shaping your life, my signature 1:1 coaching program, Through the Shadowlands, offers a unique opportunity to do just that.
In this program, we’ll work together to help you:
• Gain insight into the generational and existential patterns affecting your life.
• Develop a greater capacity to engage with life’s uncertainties.
• Cultivate self-leadership and intentionality on your way to a satisfied life.
Join me and take the first step toward momentum, satisfaction, and deeper self-connection.
Book a free consultation here.
